My emotions, I’ve got to control them. Try to keep some principals. Of course I’ll get hurt in the near future, but if I keeping acting like this and feeling the way I feel then I’m afraid I won’t be able to tolerate the pain. Why am I so addicted to this affliction? Perhaps because I am attached to this new sense of happiness. If I were smart, I would stop now, when the suffering is on the borderline of being bearable. I am totally aware that I’m leading myself to a clear path of more agony if I stay longer. What I’ve been doing was wrong to start with. Oh well. As long as I’m in euphoria at the moment, I. Don’t. Give. A. Shit. Misery, come and get me. I CAN handle you (I hope).